Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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