hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
