So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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