I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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