White coat. Heels.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
