Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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