I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
