He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
