It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
