That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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