i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
