Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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