we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
