So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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