You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
