Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
