he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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