At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
