remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
