Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize