He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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