If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
