Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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