Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Ladies don't puke and tell
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
