Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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