I accidentally had phone sex last night
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
