everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
