I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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