I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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