What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
