it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
