i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
