my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
