he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
