Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
