You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
