I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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