Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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