hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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