I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
