Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
