honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
