i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
