just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
