Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
