How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
