Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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