Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
