My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
