I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
