At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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