im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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