My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
