the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
