she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
