Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
