Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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