The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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