it hurts more in the daytime
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
